Slogans in your Bike/Car

its not hard liquor, its just wine!

I am only driving this because my truck is in the shop!

Slow down and back off… I am a cop!

Another bright blue dot in a confused red country.

Silly boys…trucks are for girls!

That thing in the middle of your steering wheel is a horn NOT A DOORBELL.

I was born intelligent, but education ruined me.

If U Read My Bumper Sticker…LOOK OUT!

I failed 1 of my final exams by looking into the soul of the person beside me.

It aint over until your brother counts the votes!

If you can read this, that means I won

Support Corporate Greed: Shop Walmart

Practice makes perfect, but nobody is perfect so why practice?

Welcome to America !! Now speak English and carry auto insurance.

Are you following Jesus this close?

Hit Me…I need the $$$

Have you ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?

Using my turn signal will just reveal my plans to the enemy.

Do not run your fingers over my car and i will not run my car over your fingers.

You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.


Talking on a cell phone behind the wheel should be attempted murder.

Earth is full! Get off!

Lizard: The other white meat.

All Hummers belong in Iraq.

The Longest Sentence Know To Man: “I Do”

Karma will always win so victoms have justice.

Native Of Red Sox Nation

If you really loved them they would be in seat belts!

I would rather not see two Johns in the Whitehouse…

Chevrolet: Cracked Head Every Vavle, Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

Dont like my smoking? Quit breathing!

D.A.M. – Mothers Against Dyslexia


When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.

My aptitude test says, “Best suited for Organ Donor.”

Question assumptions.

Politicians and diapers have a lot in common: they often need changing!

Honk if parts fall off!

Smile…it confuses people.

I actually voted for Kerry, before I voted against him.

Voldemort for Prestident

Life is not permanent. Do not take it seriously.

LIFE: a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy to those who think.

You may only be one person in the world, but you may be the world to one person.


Drive safely, avoid drivers like me!

The proctologist called…..they found your head.

Guys – Just because you have one doesnt mean you have to be one.

You suck at driving.

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

I am playing hard to want.

Caution: Blonde Thinking

This is what a princess looks like.

I brake for American made cars only.

Be Nice or Leave

If you can read this you are too close – and you are asking for it!

You have The right to your wrong opinion.

You have the right to wrong your opinion.

No Jesus, No peace — Know Jesus, Know peace

There are only two things in life you can count on: Death and Taxes.

No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.

Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.

This car is protected by an anti-theft sticker!

There are only two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead!!!!

Now That You Are Kissing My Bumper… Wanna Get Married?!?!?!

Go On, I will See You At The Next Light.

All Men Are Idiots… I Married Their King

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t

The sky is always bluer at the top of the windshield.


Growing old is inevitable…Growing up is optional.

angel inside (like the intel inside logo) {wish i could find another one! :-[ }

[picture of Hillary and Bill Clinton] “Dual Airbags”

Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?

Honk if you hate noise pollution!

Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe you should be concentrating on the road!

I know…I know…pull over

Friends don’t let friends miss out on heaven.

The Lord made us all different… Democrats want to make us all the same!

It’s easier to child-proof your gun than to bullet-proof your child.

BOMB SQUAD: If you see me running you better cetch up!

SNIPER BAR & GRILL: All you need is one shot!

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Tennis players have fuzzy balls.

Drop Dead

Fight Socialism…Vote Republican

Blondes Tease….Brunnettes Please….

Squirrel…it’s what’s for dinner.

7 days with out Jesus makes one weak

Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you they can’t laugh either.

Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.

Life’s a garden, dig it.

If barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

Everytime you speak you make someone dumber for listening to you.

Eschew Obfuscation

Why am i so thristy when I drank so much last night?

I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me

Heck is for people that don’t believe in Gosh.

Why do we believe everything we see in newspapers but question what the Bible says?

Look before you open your eyes.

I admire gay men, they leave more women for me!

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

I gave up drugs, sex and booze…it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.

Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most!

Can’t Feed ‘Em! Don’t Breed Em’!

I may be slow; but I’m ahead of you.

Life is not a garden, so quit being a hoe!

Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk

It takes more faith to believe that I came from a monkey than to believe that I came from God.

Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

Adults are just kids with money.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

You are driving to close I can see your bald spot.

You are right where you belong, behind me!

T.G.I.F Thank God I’m Female

I love my country but fear my government.

Love for all, Hatred for none

Most people plan to serve God at 11:00 and die at 10:30!

My other car is a piece of shit.

My boss treats me like a mushroom; He feeds me shit, and keeps me in the dark.

Don’t trust women.

If you can read this the beep fell off.

I wish I lived in New York, so I could have Voted Against Hilary!

Proud mother of a delinquent child!

YES this is my truck, NO I won’t help you move!

Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet…

He who angers you, controls you!

God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts!”

God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

Do not put a question mark where God put a period.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Be ye fishers of men. You catch them – He will clean them.

If you can read this you are too close.

To all you virgins; thanks for nothing!

If your gonna be a turd then go lie out in the yard.

YOU! Out of the gene pool.

I may have PMS, but you’re still a beep!!

High beams were made to piss people off!

Super Bowl is french for…sitting on your as* and getting fat.

If life is just a game then I must have missed the kickoff.

If life’s an idiot then you must the god.

I have BAD PMS and GOOD BRAKES…. you must be feeling very lucky today.

Divers get more tail.

When I married ‘Mr. Right,’ I didn’t know his first name was ‘always.’

If you are reading this you are reading off a gay internet site…

We are having EVER so much fun!

You get all this and my dads loaded.

If you can read this, roll me over.

If your stupid and you know it honk your horn.

BEER, Helping people have sex since 1865.

I hate bumper stickers!

My boss is like a diaper, full of shit and always on my as*!

Confucious say “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

There are two kinds of drivers; those who make dust & those who eat it.

When I die bury me upside down so the world can kiss my as*.

If as*hole could fly this place whould be an airport.

On the other hand…you have different fingers!

If you can read this,you were hooked on phonics once…

Musicians Duet Better

Go Braless! It will pull the wrinkles from your face.

Keep honking, I am reloading!

Never eat more than you can lift.

The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.

What you don’t do is always more important than what you do do.

Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.

Death is God’s way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

If you are feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.

Look out! Behind you!

They told me I was gullible…then they took it out of the dictionary.

Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they AREN’T after you.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.

Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

I just love nonverbal communication!

It doesn’t matter what temperature a room is; it’s always room temperature.

You can’t be late until you show up.

Some have morals; some don’t, and most simply ignore them.

For him to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.

This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you’d be dead.

I’m not a psychiatrist; I’m just an expert at being confused.

I’m serious; it was a joke.

Life isn’t weird; it’s the people in it.

I know my biology; it’s your biology I don’t know.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

It’s a Macintosh; it’s got an excuse.

I’m only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.

I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t make any difference.

Why be normal?

Do unto others before they do unto you.

Idiots surround me!

When all else fails, lower your standards.

It’s been Monday all week.

Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.

Was today really necessary?

People who think they know what they’re doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.

Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing.

Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.

Don’t worry about life; you’re not going to survive it, anyway.

Death is the consequence of being alive.

Just plead the Fifth — or drink it — either way.

Repetition is always better the second time.

Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

In theory, everything works.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a beep in the valley.

It’s all a pigment of your hallucination.

Don’t let schooling get in the way of your education.

Change a life; make someone feel important.

Everything is possible just not too probable.

Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer’s way of debugging.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

If it is a man made world, why can’t we remake it?

If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.

Death is life’s way of telling you you’re fired.

Clinton… Changing America

My child beat up your honor student

Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION

Happiness is Clinton’s face on a milk carton.

Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say.

Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.

LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.

If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.

Do not believe in miracles – rely on them.

The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!

No matter where you go; you’re there.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

Make WAR, not SEX, it’s safer!

Life is just one of those things.

Reality is a figment of your imagination.

Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog—

Conserve water – Shower with a friend

Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.

No matter where you go; you’re there.

Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!

Your lucky color has faded.

Life is a terminal disease.

If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?

Gravity is a myth the Earth sucks.

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.

If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.

I’m objective; I object to everything.

If it doesn’t fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

Kevorkian for Surgeon General

Pain is inevitable misery is optional.

This vehicle insured by Smith and Wesson.

Mean people suck.

I’m an optimist, but I don’t think it helps.

Horn Broke. Watch For Finger.

Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Save a tree, eat a beaver.

Nothing is impossible to the person that doesn’t have to do it.

If it weren’t for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.

When life is bad…keep your head up, that way you don’t see all the shit you’ve stepped in.

This is not an abandoned car.

My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.

The beatings will continue until employee morale improves.

Honk if you are blond.

Gun control is a steady hand.

I’m so hungry I am farting fresh air.

If you can do the time, you can do the crime.

Ted Kennedy’s car has killed more people than my colt 45.

Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.

Who died and made YOU Darth Vader?

It’s time to pull over and let the air out of your brain.

Hey man, you live in America now… speak Spanish!

Have you seen Elvis? 1-800-GET-A-LIFE

Honk if I’m Jesus!

I’m only driving this way to piss you off.

Gun control today, Total control tomorrow.

My other car sticker is funny.

Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.

Time Circles: The Lord Creates The Universe Evolves The Lord

Non-Partisan. Non-Republican.

Practice safe government. Use kingdoms.

Yes, in fact…my father does own this road.

Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.

The meek will Internet the world.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Forget about World Peace…Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Don’t come knocking if the car is rocking.

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering…

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill.

According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Which came first, the woman or the department store?

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all it’s students!

Tell me to ‘Stuff It’ – I’m a taxidermist.

I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

Few women admit their age few men act it!

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

When there’s a will, I want to be in it!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Real women don’t have hot flashes they have power surges.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

No Radio – Already Stolen

I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

Wink, I’ll do the rest!

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Nobody’s ugly after 2 a.m.!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the more I miss it, the meaner I get!!

Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car….

E. coli Happens

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Conserve toilet paper use both sides.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

Clinton… Born Free . . .Taxed to Death

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

All generalizations are false.

I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog!

I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??

Support a cause stop plate tectonics.

I got this car for my wife…not a bad trade.

God Bless Our Troops

Real Men Love Jesus!

D.A.M.M.- Drunks Against Mad Mothers

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

If you can read this, I am parked.

Laugh and the world laughs with you cry and the world laughs at you.


CAUTION: This car will be left behind during rapture.

Don’t let your Meatloaf

I’m not littering…. I’m donating to the earth.

Jesus is coming… Look busy.

Earth first… We will strip the other planets later.

If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

If life hands you a lemon, stuff your bra with it.

How’s my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK

The more I learn, the less I understand.

I can go from zero to beep in 2.2 seconds.

Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu??

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

The American Dream is a chicken in every pot. Why did we elect a chicken that smoked pot?

Save on gas, go fart in a jar.

My wife said if I watch one more Yankees game she is leaving. God I’ll miss her.

I’m a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Keep honking I’m reloading.

Jesus saves lives and them redeems them for valuable prizes.

My son can kick your son’s honor student butt.

I left the womb for this

I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!! This was better than any diet I’ve ever been on.

0-60 in 15 minutes!

Don’t laugh it’s paid for.

House guarded by a shotgun 3 nights a week. You guess which?

I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my as*.

Where there’s a will there’s a BEER!

Clean up America. Kill a redneck!

Smile………show off your teeth.

I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.

Keep America clean…swallow your beer cans.

Impeach President Clinton and her husband too.

Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and you stand alone.

Only in America can a Vietnam Vet live in a cardboard box on the street and a draft dodger live in the White House.

What part of do you not understand?

The squeaky wheel is often replaced.

If it isn’t broken…fix it until it is!


I Wish I Was Barbie. That beep has EVERYTHING.

I love cats…they taste just like chicken.

Hang up and drive!

Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.

Honk if you love Rush.

DARE to keep the CIA off drugs.

DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.

If you feel attacked by feminism, it’s probably a counter attack.

Overpopulation… too much of a good thing.

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure…

Everything Is Somewhere.

Horn Broken…Watch For Finger.

Why did God give beauty queens one more brain cell than horses? So they wouldn’t shit on stage.

I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.

Minds are like parachutes–they only function when open.

Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.

I’m not really a driver I just play one on TV.

I tried being normal once . . .I didn’t like it.

My karma ran over my dogma.

Blow your nose, your horn works fine.

Study long study wrong.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.

It’s not the size of the boat that matters; it’s the motion in the ocean.

The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.

If you can read this you’re in range.

Your child may be an honor student, but you’re still an idiot.

If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

I don’t drive fast I fly low

visualize whirled peas

Jesus loves you, but everyone else still thinks you’re an as*hole.

If it’s tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?

S.A.S.R. – Speeders Against Ski Racks

Please don’t hit me I’m a pedestrian trapped in a car.

Kids in the backseat cause accidents…. accidents in the backseat cause kids.

DANGER: I drive like you do!

If you can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!

I’m wondering if you have any horns with goofy songs?

You have to be really secure to be seen in this car.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving ain’t for you.

Suicide is away of telling God, You can’t fire me I quit!!!!!

A clean car is a sign if sick mind.

I may be slow but I’m in front of you.

Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!

“It is Mind over Matter… If you ain’t go no mind… It don’t Matter” David Werstiuk

Unless You’re A Hemorrhoid, STAY OFF MY AS*!

I drive like this to piss you off!

Don’t delay, paint today

Life is like a straw it sucks.

Take me drunk I’ m home.

Beam me up Jesus.

Illiterate? Write for free help.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Doctor’s say I have a multiple personality, but we don’t agree with that.

The good thing about small cars is that you can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.

Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.

Bill Clinton 89% Fact Free

Graduate quickly, millions on welfare depend on you.

Life’s a beep, and then you die.

It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?

Did you just fart or did you always smell that way?

Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now!

Don’t Follow me I am LOST!!!

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

So many cats…. So little time.

Listen to the silence!!

Honk if you haven’t slept with Clinton!

Support publik edekasion

Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else’s are horrendous.

To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.

Don’t f*** with my head and I won’t think with my beep!

Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.

“Stupid should hurt!”

If the company’s name is YELLOW, why are the trucks painted ORANGE?

If Clinton is the answer, what was the question?

huked on foniks werkd fer me

Your honor student deals the best drugs.

I am not speeding I am qualifying.

My other ride is your mom

Hey dumb as* I bought my own car, not mommy and daddy!

If you can read this I have lost my caravan.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?

My IQ came back negative!

If you write “WASH ME” on my truck, I’ll carve “RECESSITATE ME” on your chest!!!

Most Americans have Faith… You can tell by the Way They Drive

Fat people are hard to kidnap.

The Second Place Is The First Loser

If at first you don’t succeed, try not to look astonished.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Madness takes it’s toll, please have exact change.

Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Don’t laugh; your daughter may be in back.

My other auto is a 9MM.

Life’s expensive; drive defensive.

Be nice society already sucks.

Enjoy life it’s not a dress rehearsal.

Buy a gun support the constitution.

I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met.

Don’t miss heaven for the world.

You have been a naughty boy, go to my room!

Flies spread disease, keep yours closed!

God made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve.

Condoms are easier to change than diapers!

It took 40 years to make me look this good.

Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!

(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn’t hit you hard enough.

More people I meet, more I like my dog….

If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.

THINK before you ACT.

S.O.B.E.R. – Sick Of Banning Everyone’s Rights

S.C.A.R.Y. (Southern Citizens Advocating the Relocation of Yankees)

Hey idiot- You’re driving a car, not a phone booth

To you it’s a six-pack; to me it’s a support group.


I just filled up my car with gasoline. Now it’s worth $50.00


I may be fat, but you’re ugly – at least I can diet.

If you can read this… I’ve lost my trailer!

Support yogurt, it’s the only culture some people have.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

It takes a Viking to raze a village.

If it ain’t broke, fix it until it is

Men are like outhouse’s, always taken or full of shit!

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

He who farts in church sits on his own pew.

Fat chicks make my car scrape!

Rehab is for quitters.

If you’re against logging, try wiping your as* with plastic.

Behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are two.

If you think sex is a pain in the as*, you are doing it the WRONG WAY!!

Why can’t women learn to put the toilet seat back up?


I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!

Don’t Drink and Drive!

The road to hell is paved with democrats!

If you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…your aiming too high.

There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.

Lord, please save me from your followers.

My other toy has tits.

What, are you stuck on stupid.

I took a pain pill. Why are you still here?

If as*holes could fly, this place would be an airport.

If you can read this sign you must be a Florida Republican.

VIAGRA!!!!!! The Dicker Picker Upper!!!

If you think the car is dirty you should spend a night with the driver!

Always remember you’re unique – just like everyone else.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.

When there’s a will I want to be in it!

Friends don’t let friends drive naked!!

Ask me about micro waving cats for fun and profit.

I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ!

I’ve lost my phone number – can I have yours?

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.

If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animals out of meat?

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

I love animals – they taste great!

If something goes without saying – LET IT!

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

So you’re a feminist – isn’t that cute!

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

If you smoke after s e x you’re doing it too fast.

FLORIDA: Home of Electile Dysfunction

FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.

FLORIDA: We count more than you do.

FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, And Revote.

FLORIDA: If you don’t like the way we vote then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.

FLORIDA: If you think we can’t vote, wait till you see us drive.

FLORIDA: We’re number one! Wait! Recount!

HONK IF YOU LOVE GORE (use the button on your steering wheel)

I owe, I owe, so it’s off to work I go.

“I should never have invented the electoral college.” -Al Gore

Life is a lesson you’ll learn it when you’re through.

Every thing is on loan from the government until you can’t pay your taxes.

Impotence is God’s way of saying “No hard feelings.”

My child was inmate of the month at the County Jail.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Housework makes women ugly.

Remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Are you following Jesus this close?

Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.

I wish I were a glow worm a glow worm is never glum, because how could you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?

Stupidity should be punished.

God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

Have you beep slapped an environmentalist today?

Fakov & Dai: Attorneys at Law

All my drinking buddies have a racing problem.

Boycott shampoo, demand real poo instead.

Your village called, their idiot is missing.

Honk if you love boy bands – then drive into a tree.

I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Turn Signals: Not just for smart people anymore.

I wonder if you would drive well if that cell phone were up your as*.

Every silver lining has a cloud.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Scixelsyd Etinu (backward)

Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?

Man made beer, God made pot you make the choice.

The horn blows does the driver!

Don’t steal the government hates competition.

A church alive is worth the surprise!!

Beer: making woman look better since 1965.

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

No glove no love.

Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.

DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!

I am represented by the Law Firm of Dewey, Chedum, and Howe.

Dewey,Skrewem, & Howe (attorneys at law)

Jerry’s dead, Phish sucks, get a job.

I’m against ABORTION because I was once a fetus.

Against ABORTION, don’t have one.


Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!

Democrats=Beaureaucrats: STUPID

No prohibiting allowed!

Nuke the unborn gay whales.

I’ve been dieting for the past month, but all I lost was 31 days!!

Who put a stop payment on my reality check?

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Stop Reading My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE!!

For a small town, this one sure has a lot of as*holes!

AMERICA-Love It Or Leave It!

Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control!

I am overjoyed with whelm!

Laughter, cries and all that is wise…

You just lived your best moment, now GO live another!

Without pain and suffering you have no choice!

87 thoughts on “Slogans in your Bike/Car

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